I'm nobody, who are you?

So I want to be a writer when I grow up. A real, published writer. Who writes books. 

Why do I want this? 

The longer this process has taken and the more difficult it has become, the reason I want to be a writer has become more and more clear to me. (drumroll)

I want to help children love to read and write. I want to go into schools—I want to work with children face to face. I want to share with them the joys reading brings to me. I want to show them that they can be great readers and great writers. I want to bring boxes of books from the Scholastic Book Warehouse sale and hand them out to teachers to build up their classroom libraries. Then I want to give every kid at that school a free book (any book, not just mine). I want to grow very rich so I can fly  all over the world and give books (many books) to every single child who owns not one book of their own.

I do not want to be famous. 

I realized that with great clarity sharpness the other day when Calvin memorized this poem for school:

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you-Nobody-too?
Then there's a Pair of us?
Don't tell-they'd advertise -you know!
How dreary to be Somebody!
How public-like a frog-
To tell one's name the Livelong June
To an admiring-Bog!

-- Emily Dickinson, "I'm Nobody! Who Are You?"

And here is another poem that's gotten me thinking:

Oh why should the spirit of mortal be proud?

Like a swift-flitting meteor, a fast-flying cloud,

A flash of the lightning, a break of the wave,

Man passeth from life to his rest in the grave. ⁹

Yesterday, Mary had a chamber music recital. In her introduction, their coach explained to the very small audience (too small—we should have invited people) why it is important for children to participate in chamber music. Her final point was that it deepens the soul. 

I loved that point. I want my children to deepen their souls. I want to deepen my own soul, every, every day. As a country, as a world, thanks to social media and 24-hour news and Youtube, and perhaps even blogs, we all want to be famous. And we are losing our souls in the process. 

Here is a poem my grandfather wrote, my favorite poem in the world:

“Learn to like what doesn't cost much.
Learn to like reading, conversation, music.
Learn to like plain food, plain service, plain cooking.
Learn to like fields, trees, brooks, hiking, rowing, climbing hills.
Learn to like people, even though some of them may be different...different from you.
Learn to like to work and enjoy the satisfaction of doing your job as well as it can be done.
Learn to like the song of birds, the companionship of dogs.
Learn to like gardening, puttering around the house, and fixing things.
Learn to like the sunrise and sunset, the beating of rain on the roof and windows, and the gentle fall of snow on a winter day.
Learn to keep your wants simple and refuse to be controlled by the likes and dislikes of others.”
― Lowell C. Bennion

If we did these things, if we learned to like—to love—these things, I think our souls would be deepened, and our children, who would accompany us on this journey, would benefit. 

Is there anything about becoming famous in those passages? How many of our kids want to become famous rock stars? How many of them want to play for the NBA when they grow up? How many of them want to be famous?

How many of them want to leave this world a little better when they are through with it? 

I think we can inspire these things with our children by reading the very best books with them. Then reading them again and again.

One more quote, also from my grandfather:

“If we thought of life as a gift, we might not demand nearly as much from it. And if we lived more graciously, giving of ourselves more freely to the well-being of others, many of our personal concerns would disappear, and life would become easier for all.”
― Lowell C. Bennion

A tip to help your child with writing—plus a YA Pick

First, a book I reread over the break. A fat, romantic fantasy that is actually two books in one that I love so much. I'm not sure how great it is in any particular respect, I only know that I love it and I can reread it and reread it.

I greatly envy the person who gets to read this for the very first time. I wish I could have that experience again.

Give it to your teenager if they love action and adventure and romance, and if they particular like it clean. There's nothing even remotely worrisome in that regard in this book:


Crown Duet by Sherwood Smith. A combo of Crown Duel and Court Duel.

Sherwood Smith is just plain fun.

And now for a tip on helping your kids with writing.

The gist of this tip is simple: make sure your kids know what they are trying to say and help them recognize whether or not they've said it.

For example, in homeschool, I asked Calvin, my 3rd grader, to read, Rough-Face Girl by Rafe Martin, a retelling of Cinderella. I pointed out to him that the rough-face girl's good qualities—humility, kindness, being a hard worker—bring her trouble at first, but by the end of the story, they are the things that bring her victory. Her sisters—mean, nasty, and vain—seem to be winning in the beginning, but those bad qualities make them lose in the end.

What is the author trying to tell us? I asked Calvin.

That it is better to be good, he basically said.

I asked him to write me a story with a message. A story where a character's certain qualities or personality traits seemed to bring them trouble at the beginning, but ended up helping them in the end.

This is what he wrote as a first draft (spelling mistakes included):

I am a rat. It is not fun. Cats and dogs and other predators and other pretaders a plenty and food and shelter is scarce. My mom always says don’t go outside. I go outside anyway. 

Well, how was I to know that there was a cat right under the kitchen table? Or the dog was prowling around the house? Or the pet snake and the scary ferret had escaped from their cages?

Well back to the story. I was sleeping in my hole when I heard a thump. I strolled out onto the floor. There were people with a cage of eagle mice (I read the label). I went back into the hole. 

“It’s some eagle mice!” I said. “Eek!” everbody screamed. I dont think they heard mice. 

I was right. They ran outside the hole. They were running toward the ferret. 

“Stop!” I yelled. 

To late. The ferret grabbed my brother. 

I ran into the bathroom and came out with a bottle of germo. I sprayed it on the ferret. The ferret dropped my brother and ran. “Hooray for Nick!” everbody shouted.

The End

After praising him for a great first draft, I asked him, "So what is the message of your story?"

Boy, did he have to think about this. Because even after giving him the example of Rough-face Girl and after specifically telling him that I wanted him to write a story with a message, he got so caught up in writing a funny story about a rat, he forgot about the message. He forgot why he was writing in the first place. 

Eventually, after a little coaxing, he decided the message of his story would be that it is good to be adventurous, even if it gets you into trouble sometimes. I asked him to think particularly hard about his ending. The rat needs to do something really great, I said. Something really important, because he is adventurous. It needs to be something that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't ventured out where other rats wouldn't dare. The action of your story needs to tell the reader the message, being adventurous can be a great thing!

He then wrote this:

I am a rat. It is not fun. Cats, dogs, and other predators are plenty and food and shelter is scarce. My mother always says “Don’t go outside our hole.” 

I go outside anyway because I want to know what’s out there and I want to have adventures. Well how was I supposed to know that there was a cat right under the kitchen table? Or the dog was prowling around the house? Or the pet snake and ferret had escaped? As soon as I got back to my hole my mom ran up to me. She scolded me and I had to do exra hard chores and exra hard exra chores and I was sent to bed early. “Bummer!” I thought. The next morning I got up and yawned. Then I snuck outside to have an adventure!

The people were coming in the front door. They had six cages with a ferret in each cage. Gulp. Seven ferrets were living in the house now! “We’ll set them free to kill the rats.” said one person. Double gulp.

I ran up the stairs and got a baseball bat and a rope. I tied them together and started down the stairs. 

Too late! Two ferrets were starting up the stairs! I hit them both and knocked them sensless. I then bit off some of the rope and tied a loop around ones head. I connected the rope to the other ferrets head. Then I tied the baseball bat—rope to the back of the ferrets. Then I woke them up and yelled Giddy’up!

I became a hero in rat history! As for the ferrets I trained them and they were our horses!

The End

Is it perfect? No. Is it better? Yes! The message is much more clear. He is now a hero in rat history because he snuck outside to have an adventure. If he hadn't done this, he would be dead. There is, of course, more work he could do to make his message even more clear, but this was a great improvement. I think parents and sometimes even teachers don't quite know how to help kids with the meat of their writing, with what they are trying to say, so they focus instead on grammar and spelling mistakes. Those are easy to spot and easy to correct.

But grammar and spelling can come with time. Kids need to know what they are trying to say as they write, and they need to learn how to make their meaning clear. This is true for all kinds of writing. And it does much more than just teaching them how to write. It teaches them how to think! It teaches them how to organize their thoughts and express themselves clearly. 

And really, it is fun! Kids love to make their writing better, and they will especially love it as we guide them with patience and love and buckets of encouragement!

I Dream of Writing Club

One of my New Year's goals is to spend more individual time with each child doing specific things they like to do.

This means I was supposed to play tennis with Shaemus yesterday, but it was dreary and cold and I was too tired to drive around and find an empty court, so we played Battleship instead. We tied, something you may not know is possible with Battleship.

Each child has two hours per week designated to them. Seven to eight on Wednesdays is Lucy time. 

I was still feeling pretty tired by seven o'clock, even without the tennis. Lucy and I had talked earlier about doing a writing club for our special hour on Wednesdays, but I asked her if she'd rather just play a game instead. Playing games is a fallback for me when I'm too tired to think. 

Lucy loves games, so I was surprised when she said she'd rather do Writer's Club. Pleased by this (though still tired), I walked up the stairs and fell onto her bed and said, "Come snuggle then and we'll make a plan." 

We decided to write a book together based on an idea I'd had a few months earlier about a girl who can see images coming out of people's mouths when they speak. These images are very revealing and therefore dangerous, so her parents keep her safely locked away inside an opaque glass castle. Lucy and I spent an hour talking through the possible plot of our story. 

It was so incredibly wonderful. I loved every minute of it (even though I was still tired!). Lucy kept asking the best questions and making the best comments: 

"How could Christienne see the people through the glass if nobody else could earlier? Wouldn't people know there was trouble?"

"I don't think he should be a fairy, Mom. That reminds me too much of Tinkerbell and England." 

And my favorite, because she was so right, "Maybe we should have this take place in Africa, or someplace like Africa, so as she's running away, she's running out into the desert." 

We finished Writer's Club with a plan. She's going to write the prologue (which may or may not stay in the novel when we're done), and I'm going to write the chapter when they discover the magicked toad that can fly and and speak and basically be the fairy Lucy didn't think we should have.

So many people aren't comfortable with writing, but doing it with your child can be such a great thing. Together you will notice inconsistencies you wouldn't notice on your own. One idea will spark off another. You'll get insights into your child's mind and they will get insights into yours, and the time you spend together will be quality time well spent. I'll bet a lot of you are thinking that your child wouldn't want to do this with you, but that is where you'd be WRONG. They will love getting this one on one time with you, and the resulting book, bad or good, will be something you both treasure always.

And while I'm at it, I'll share two books Lucy got for Christmas that she really enjoyed.

Museum of Thieves by Lian Tanner (currently a bargain book on Amazon!) 

And Juniper Berry by M.P. Kozlowsky